An emotionally intelligent leader knows better than to fire their team virtually, to punch a host publicly or to entice their team to perform better with gimmicks such as weight loss plans.

When a really famous celebrity does something shocking publicly, it makes news naturally. But when a really famous celebrity does something shocking publicly, in an attire that speaks civility, duringone of the world’s most celebrated and watched event on TV, it makes for page 1 headline and well, memes.

Most of us talking whether the joke was uncalled for missed the point. For instance, ‘Should Will Smith not have protected his wife?’ ‘Words are violence, are they not!’

Elizabeth Roosevelt, former first lady of the US, famously said, ‘Small minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events.’ Most of us on primetime news, in drawing rooms and at work discussed both, the event and the people.

As a leadership coach, I often narrate incidents from the life of a leader from Indian army to business leaders heading medium to huge organizations, i.e., Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw, the first Indian Army officer to be promoted to the rank of field marshal. Most of know him as the Chief of the Army Staff of the Indian Army during the Indo-Pakistani War of 1971 but from his peers to soldiers to friends and even his enemy called him Sam Bahadur! You will see why.

When the Japanese army surrendered during the Second World War, for instance, Sam Bahadur was supervising the disbarment of 60k Japanese prisoners of war. During this time, when most fear humiliation and harassment Sam Bahadur ensured that they were treated with dignity. Sam’s attitude was not just for show.

Even when away from the limelight, he treated people the same way. For instance, during rounds one day, Sam was taken aback when he saw a rifleman saluting a young officer endlessly. On inquiring, he was told that this was a punishment meted out to teach the rifleman who he did not salute the officer! The humane and witty Sam decided to applaud the young officer for a ‘deserving’ punishment but also ordered him to salute the rifleman back a thousand times! Respect is a two-way street indeed!

Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw’s ability to not only lead his country in battle but also his fellow soldiers on the ground not losing respect once, publicly or privately is reflective of high emotional intelligence quotient.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotionally Intelligent Quotient or EQ can be simply understood as having the ability to understand and manage one’s emotions and to recognize and respond effectively to those of others. Daniel Goleman, an internationally-acclaimed science journalist, author and psychologist, deciphers the four components of the trait in his EI Performance Model (refer image: Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence Model):

*Photo Credits: wwww.globalleadershipfoundation.com

• Self-awareness: The ability to recognize one’s own emotions and their effect on others. To elaborate, it refers to one’s ability to not let personal responses, beliefs or biases around an event or conversation to hinder the task at hand.
• Self-management: An emotionally-charged environment is usually distracting and tensed. Self-management refers to the mental clarity to focus on one’s goals while managing intense emotions
• Social awareness: Social awareness refers to the ability to read other’s emotions and respond to them in a manner to prevent further negative reactions. This stems from a highly developed sense of empathy which allows one to see the situation from the other’s perspective.
• Relationship management: Relationship management is a result of all the other three factors viz. recognizing and managing one’s emotions, recognizing and responding to the others’ reactions. It refers to a leader’s ability to handle an emotionally-charged situation and to successfully be able to say what such that the other person can hear.

When it comes to leading a team, big or small, in times of uncertainty, I always tell leaders, imagine nurturing a seed of EQ and the fruit is always increased productivity! If you trust numbers, take a look.

It is always “IQ over EQ”. Intelligent Quotient may get you the first job but Emotional Quotient gets you the promotion and elevation in corporate leadership journey.

• Research shows that people with high levels of emotional intelligence earn an average of $29,000 more annually than those with less emotional intelligence!

Naturally, acquiring EQ takes more time, especially if you have a high stakes role and have been under duress for a significant amount of time. A simple and enjoyable way is to write down on a page every day before you sleep:

How do you think the day of a specific stakeholder went by?

Think of your stakeholders, including employee, cofounder, partner, or a vendor. Write down as freely as you can how their day must have gone by and experience feeling and thinking like that person.

And, if you digress into discussing the person (‘What do they know!’) or an event (‘They did nothing productive there!’), then remember that ‘great minds discuss ideas’ not people or events!